Hilarity from behind the beer taps.

Middle aged business man: "I'd pay you to come."

Me on why I am so cheery at work: "So I figure, I'm getting paid to be here. I'm getting paid to be perky at customers and being perky makes me happy! It's a vicious cycle really. :D"
*exit customer*
Me turning to my boss and sobbing with grin still attached to my face: "Oh god, I'm so lonely."

My boss on why I should stop singing the only Hanson lyrics I know, which happen to be 'mmbop a doowap, mmmbop doobey doo doo wap. mmm bop, doo wap doo. wo ho yeah heah.' (you try and get them out of your head...)
"Shut up, just shut up or I'll, I'll stuff this in your asshole..." *Wields hammer menacingly.*